Juniors Crowned King of the Manor… Match Reports
Juniors Crowned Kings of the Manor….
Game day 8 and with earlier results going in Bromley Juniors favour, it meant that they could be crowned champions with a win over Manor FC. There was a tense atmosphere in the Bromley camp before kick off as they knew Manor FC were also fighting for the title and promotion. There was prior reports from some players having a sleepless night. A wake up text from the Manager at 3:00 confirmed he also had a sleepless night too. However, the Juniors were confident as for the first time in three weeks they were back to a full strength side. With influential players such as Kwesi ”Delap” Scantleberry, Joel ‘G’ Gilbert and the return from suspentioan of Nigerian Royal Prince ‘touch my balls’ Aileru.
For the first time since the beginning of the summer league, all players were there 1 hour before kickoff. Former Supersub ISAAC made an appearance after an overnight cycling trip from Luton and so did Wayne. Almost immediately from the kick off the Juniors scored what must have been the quickest goal in the history of the BFA Summer League – with the time clocked at 00.23 seconds. The goal was scored by Kohinoor ‘thinks he’s in Jersey Shore’ Chowdhury who ended his goal drought which has been running from 1986. Michael Cepillo and Prince (making his come back after his dismissal in the Cup rounds for his infamous gestures to match officials and “touch my balls” comment – we at BBBCO can only assume he meant football and take no liability for court actions of individuals) were instrumental in the opening goal.
Bromley thought they had scored a second however this was dubiously ruled offside by the assistant. The momentum was with the Juniors as they pressed for a second goal and they didn’t have to wait too long. With some positive and encouraging words from the gaffa giving him the confidence to ”play football not ping pong” before kickoff, Riaz ‘Cesc Bab-ergas’ Uddin whipped an in perfect left footed cross into the penalty box for Mukther Ali also known as ‘Mockthaaaar’ by his Turkish followers headed home to make the score 2-0. With the Juniors two goals up and playing some great football, they took their foot off the gas and became a little too relaxed and complacent letting Manor FC score just before half time to give them a chance to get themselves into the game. The half ended 2-1 with the Juniors visibly shaken at the manner in which they conceded the goal in a game that was pretty one sided in our favour so far.
Naz Hussain, Bromley Juniors manager who usually turns up to matches looking more like a member of boy band JLS with his fancy questionable fashion sense (started his career as the Michelin Double) had some strong words for the players at half time. With the absence of Assistant Ansar. the manager was left to raise his teams spirits and rally them back onto the pitch which seemed to have worked. He took off Meaty ”groin injury” and reshuffled the team bringing on P-DOT. Not too long after the restart Manor FC saw a player red carded for a studded tackle on Kobir, the leg of the offending Manor FC player was higher than Cantona’s infamous kung fu-style kick during the Crystal Palace game in 1995.
Despite being down to 10 men, a miscommunication in Bromley By Bow Juniors defence allowed Manor FC to equalise making the score 2-2. With them searching for a third goal and Bromley by Bow on the back foot, the pressure was now truly on but the Juniors responded to adversity as they had done all season by scoring another goal to get their noses back in front. Mukhter Ali was on the score sheet again with a powerful drive from close range making it 3-2. The Gaffa brought on Joel in the middle sacrificing prince up front with instructions to beef up the midfield and not allow any ball to be played down the middle. Just 2 minutes after taking to the pitch, Joel suffered a controversial red card. The referee deemed his slide tackle as a perfect opportunity to restore the balance in the game. With Manor FC committing men forward in search of their equaliser, the game was wrapped up by Enosch Pedro who came on as a substitute and finished his chance nonchalantly from outside adding to his tally of goals which has so far seen him top scorer in the charts. In defence, Helal had a great game he introduced his on / off partner ”Handrea” to the opposition who was duly disgusted and complained to the referee. Rumours has it that ”Handrea” was getting to know a bit too much about the opposition as it groped awkward places. Prince is quite affectionate towards Helal and seems that his influence is rubbing on him. The game ended 4-2.
Ex-Underwear Sniffer and ‘Parves P-Dot Hussain Filmstore’ member Soil Miah commented after the game, “Success begets success. This season has been about hard work and this has paid off for Bromley Juniors. This should be the first off many titles, I have watch Braveheart many times and I can relate this to Bromley Juniors frustration over the past couple of seasons. The great fallacy is that the game, is first and last about winning. The game is about glory, it is about doing things in style and with a flourish…about going out and beating the other team, not waiting to get beat.”
Bromley batter Island FC…
Bromley By Bow FC came into the game with relegation dogged Island FC with 10 men as Bromley had squad problems. Dipon fractured his hand with doing Justin Bieber moves and Shahin had various injuries due to him committing himself to do hand and feet fishing for Maas Bazaar (Fish Market). We started off brightly with Hamid playing make shift left back who produced a sublime Stevie G type 60 yard ball to Bahar who controlled and finished neatly into the net with his left peg. It was within the next 5 mins William scored 2 goals that were fired into the net from the area to go into half time with a comfortable lead.
The Second half started brightly with Beuasojeur aka Fabio scoring with a thunderous strike. This lead to Bahar getting his second in true poacher style and then William wrapping up the game with a hattrick and a pat on the back. Island did score 2 consolation goals one of which was from an own goal from Sadik which the manager was not happy about.
Ex-Gathor Goonda (aka Goon) and ‘In a de E tree’ Badman Akbor Islam commented ” Brap Brap…you hardly see a scoreline like that in the Premier Division, Bromley could of taken there goals into double digits. We needed the 3 points to help us secure Runners up position in the League and it was great to see it was raining goals for once and the hattrick by William was a testament to the side and that their discipline shone through”.
Ex News of the World Journalist & now Channel S phone line operator, Muhith recorded the following conversation from the Management “..yeh I’m going to the Take That concert afterwards, were winning 4-nil here its seems like a walk in the park….did you hear the rumour about me & Poplar FC ….”they want me back, they want me back for goood”….Dial Tone Ends”
Final Score Bromley 7-2 Island FC.
BOW FC continue there unbeaten run in there league as they score twice in the last 5 mins to beat South Youth. With 8 points clear at the top they will need all the practice they can get as the procede into Division 2. Manager Rokibul commented ” Its great to see the players & supporters are enjoying the moment as we have 1 more game left to play, lets hope we can remain unbeaten”